I’ve been in a reflective mode a lot of late, it seems.

Perhaps it’s normal in times of vast transitions and uncertainty, as our world finds itself in.
Perhaps it’s changing of seasons.
But I’m fairly certain it’s from different things happening in my own world, and I take them as subtle signs from the Universe.

A few weeks ago, Arbonne released a new line of skin care, named “Age Well”, to embody the spirit of embracing our aging process as the inevitability it is, but minimizing the signs of it with plant-based products improving the skin’s appearance and overall health.
At first, I was taken aback. Age Well? Really? Women want to forget about the fact that they are aging, they want things to “turn back the hands of time” and “stop aging”. What. On. Earth. But, for the record, I’ve been using the line and love how healthy my skin has been.

Over the past week, my Facebook memories have been peppered with my many times participating in the Making Strides walk in the fight against breast cancer. It was one of my favorite days of the year, gathering with so many, walking the 5 mile route in unison, an endless sea of pink. And yet another thing the pandemic has stolen away from us… as well as my relocation to the Florida Keys.

This weekend, I learned of the passing of a dear, sweet friend.
My very first mom-friend that I made, when my boys were not yet of school-age and we had no real ties to the town we lived in [aside from being a neighboring town of where we both grew up, and one my parents’ families had ties to]. At any rate, it turned out her husband and one of his sisters had babysat my brother and I on many occasions growing up (which she found completely hilarious, knowing her husband as who he had become), and we became fast friends, as we spent hours at the town’s lakeside beach with the rest of the mom friends.

Years went on, her daughter became one of my boys’ babysitters, and our friendship remained, but also changed and morphed, as our littles became bigs and we no longer gathered at the lake.
And so the news of her passing hit me hard for a few reasons. The first being that she passed, obviously, and the loss itself. Another being that our friendship had become less than what it was when it began. It had kind of drifted and faded away…I still consider her a friend, but not in my immediate circle as she once was. So that was a bit of heaviness I had to hold onto for a bit as well.
But then my sweet soul sister BFF reminded me of the “for a reason, a season, or a lifetime” saying. And so I think of her being placed into my path for reasons. First, the beginning of my mom years and the sweet memories of motherhood that all came flooding back in my remembrance of her. And second, by remembering her husband and his sister babysitting my brother and I, it gives me memories that tell me my entire childhood, though not characterized as easy, carefree and secure, DID contain bright spots of beauty and love and some happiness. So although she was only part of my life for a reason and only a (relatively) few seasons, I hold a lifetime of gratitude for her having been there.

As I took my walk today, I held her tightly in my heart, as I let all the memories and feelings flood through me. The sadness I felt were no longer for my loss of her from this world. It occurred to me she won’t see her children marry, she won’t hold or know her grandchildren, she won’t have the privilege of growing old.
And that’s when it hit me. The Irish proverb “do not resent growing old, for it us a privilege denied to many”. We should not be looking at growing older and aging with dread or disappointment. It is such a waste of energy, and is an incredible insult to the memories of so many who will never get that chance.
So those lines around your eyes and mouth are memories made, struggles endured and a life very much lived. Those extra few pounds you may be carrying are from humans created, meals and drink enjoyed with family and friends. Those little cracks and snaps you may hear when getting up or down are coming from a body that has seen you through so much and is ready to continue to do so. If you feel badly about any of those things, by all means there are ways to mitigate and correct them. But don’t you dare curse them or feel angry about them. I can assure you, for every age-related fault you see in yourself, there is someone who is gone and never got to experience them.
I now fully embrace the rephrasing that Arbonne began with Age Well. I am, in fact, aging. I am growing older. Can I do it the best way possible? Yes. Can I look and feel great while aging, gracefully and beautifully and authentically? Also yes. Because I’ve spent 51 years here on this planet, and I plan on at least 51 more.
I will proudly say I’m growing older, to honor the memory of my friend and all others gone far too soon.